Two weeks ago Monday, my new world started. Our two boys burst into the world and, as everyone says, pretty much everything changed. To be honest, I didn’t have that immediate epiphany when they arrived. I think I was mostly in shock, tired, and just happy that we’d made it through a long process to see them arrive healthy.
My “holy shit” moment wasn’t until our first night at home. My wife and I ended up splitting the kids up, as one was sleeping and one wasn’t. I took the cryer. After a couple of hours of whimpering and crying, with me being on the verge of my own breakdown, I had that moment of clarity: I would do anything to fix whatever is wrong, and it is killing me that I don’t know what it is. 1 The last two weeks have been a ride. Like everyone tells you, you don’t get any sleep, but I didn’t expect it would be quite as bad. We’ve been able to keep the kids on roughly the same schedule for eating and sleeping, but the fact that it takes about an hour or so to get them both fed and back to sleep means we have an hour to 90 minutes before we do it all over again. Add on top of that a couple of hospital visits and some small issues, and your brain, body, and your heart just start to vacillate between joy and pain with every whimper or snuggle.
Thankfully, we’ve had loads of help from family and friends. I don’t think we would have survived otherwise.
I couldn’t be more excited and happy for the little dudes we’ve created. I’m not going to become that guy who just posts about his kids. But I’ll probably post about them a bit more.
And I probably should go reserve their domains and twitter handles …
It was a few minutes later, when I stupidly put on Ben Folds “Still Fighting It” that I had my own breakdown. ↩