Why I Laughed at the Phantom Gourmet Dude Working the Mall Kiosk 

Around Christmas time, I was shopping in the Burlington Mall and saw one of the Andelman brothers working their little Phantom Gourmet booth shilling coupon books. And I laughed. Mostly because I imagined the internal thought process being something like "I'm a TV star, why do I have to work in a mall with these...plebians,", but also a little bit "Ha. What a racket. Sell coupons to the restaurants you review on TV."

Well, here's another reason to laugh at them.

Mike Andelman: We walk in and the hostess who’s the typical hot woman, rude, cold- as-ice, never would talk to me in high school-type girl...So she goes, “Two?”, and I said yes, and she looks at us and says, “I’m sorry, we’re not open until 5:30, so there’s nothing I can do.”

Dan Andelman: And what time was this at?

Mike: 5:05.

Eddie Andelman: It was about 5:10.


Mike: And it’s not like this was 8pm on a Saturday night. It’s 5 o’clock, and guess what, if the owner of Grill 23 was standing next to this dumb hostess, this moronic hostess who was just getting her, uh, jollies off by sticking to the rules of her little brochure in a little binder, this little monkey, her only job is to look at this binder and say don’t let people in ‘till 5:30...

Dan: Although in her defense she was good-looking apparently. I’d like to see a picture. Was she wearing yoga pants? These are things I want to know. I have a thing for hostesses.

Mike: There’s not a hostess who’s not good-looking, because they’re incompetent and can’t do anything else in life. If you can’t model, when you’re good-looking enough and not tall enough to model, you stand behind a little box and say, How many?

Jesus. What enormous tools.

(Via Server Not Servant.)